This is what most alcoholics would have to resort to if this whole Mathata Thitha thing gets off the ground..
BORU VODKA ... and BORU Kasippu,Boru White Diamond (I think you get the general idea)

Lucifer at work (2)

 The sarong clad pot smoking trishaw dudes have been bitching at a rate, and to my surprise the ones who wear trousers and smoke marijuana are doing the same thing!! they are bitching !!  (oh btw Pot and Marijuana mean the same thing.. i.e for the benefit of all the emo kids who`ve been too busy to read up about drugs thanks to their busy cutting schedules... I`m no expert but It might save you time if you use something other than Aunt Hilda`s butter knife..)

I wanted to get to the bottom of this.. and guess where I ended up.. down lucifers bottom... Yes!!! Lucifer has a side business... (he`s not selling vaseline to prostitutes in Gampaha..) He`s running a meter taxi business, you might have seen one in your neighbourhood too.. Its hard to miss.. It says LUCIFER PUTHA on the back and the meter starts at 666 (Once again for you emo boys and girls It`s not a short code for Pizza Hut .. it is .......... ........ the number of the BEAST... now dont ask me whether its the lochness monster...) I`ve even added a picture for all you non believers,SO THERE *struts off majestically*

Lucifer at work

This is what your favourite talk show host, creator of mascara and the producer of green contact lenses has been up to lately

Satan sells exercise books : The recession made a lot of people step down from their thrones and do things they never thought they would ever do. Mr Lucifer is no exception.

Whatever it is I have this strong diabolical feeling in my bowels that tell me that he will give Weerodara and Richard a run for their money.

W.O.R.K

Some say that works a killer.. but in my case its been a damn rapist,I guess that explains why I`ve started to walk funny.. anyway the point that I'm trying to make here is that work has kept me away from you. My subjects!!! its been 19 days!! 19 friking days.... a lot can happen in 19 days, heck Boy George can even get a sex change in 19 days...... but I`m back and if I go missing again that means I`ve checked myself in to rehab, that's where all the big names are Aaron Carter,watshername Lohan.. and even Howie Day!!! rehab is definitely the place to be.

Remember kids :  You are not the company you keep

you are the drugs you do and the drugs in turn get you some good company.

Of Dinosaurs and Castrates

I was skipping along to boyzone`s love is a hurricane and i almost got my feet tangled up in the rope after I heard the latest news from the world of Paleontology! The long necked veggy consuming critter, the dinosaur that introduced the wonders of grass to mankind is apparently a myth!!! Yes folks the brontosaurus is right up there with Pamela Anderson`s tits and Oprah's compassion when weighed on the universal scale of fakeness. Ill have to get rid of all my bronto toys, specially the ones that say that it walks like the real one, but this is just a first in a long line of disappointments scientists have got in-store for us in 2011. It wont be long till someone comes up and says that the castrati was a figment of some historians imagination. (Ill let you wonder why a historian would waste countless hours thinking about men who have their balls chopped off..) the only reason  why it hasn't been leaked yet is because scientists would have to break their backs trying to explain how acts like the Beegees,Adam lambert,Adam Levine and Shihan Mihiranga hits those high notes  whilst having their testicles intact, and they will also have to explain how certain morning show hosts have bass voices even though they don`t have balls to begin with...

The last couple of days have been a little hectic, but I didnt forget all you lovely people who read my blog.. Infact I thought a lot about you when I was jerkin off.. The number of followers I have is a turn on, it makes me feel all good inside just to know that there are people out there who feel like me,fart,burp and scratch thier butts like me *reaches out to you dramatically while singing hold my hand by MJ and Akon* This blog to me is what papaya is to someone who`s constipated, It helps me UNLOAD and this so called  need to unload is one of the basic needs of all Neanderthals....  and theres nothing emo about it, unloading is good and I will unload more unto your monitor as soon as I have some time for myself :)


Ohh my bad.. we are homosapiens... neanderthals are our grandparents..

Black Metal

For years black metal has been looked down on due to its anti christian implications. Some even went to the extent of calling it the devils music. Let us not dwell on this genres religious implications, but focus  on other attributes of the genre that make it abominable to any self righteous god loving conditioner using critter.

Not only do these musicians promote violence, they also promote unprotected sex,drugs and alcohol, but it doesn't stop there my friends, these so called musicians who are idolized by Black metal music lovers the world over also promote bad grooming habits.  Take a look at the picture below..

It shows the founder of the band Gorgoroth, who shows signs of balding in his early thirties, this matter is aggravated by dandruff flakes that are clearly seen forming on his scalp, the situation has become so hard to control that a professional photographer couldnt even touch up the final picture to get rid of the dandruff...I`m no hair and beauty emo expert but from what I gather.. It wont be long till he grows as bald as Satan. *sprinkle holy water on your monitor* can I hear you say the H word???* heyy yaaa can I hear you say the H word ???

The second picture is also of the aforementioned infernus, this picture shows how yellow his  teeth are. Too much oral sex and beer thats what did it... to think that they have toothbrushes in Norway !!!!

Do we want our kids to grow up like this ?? do you want your kids to come up to you with bad body ordour or bad breath and ask for money to buy a black metal record ?? Answer me?? *Sprinkle more holy water*

 Black metal isnt going against god alone, its going against emo`s who love to sprinkle on their mums perfume (regardless of whether the emo kid  is male or female- well you cant expect much from males that wear pink t-shirt when the universal colour for males is blue neda :P ) and adorn themselves with pink t-shirts and pink slippers and walk around with a thesaurus just so that we can shower an unsuspecting victim with words that juxtapose anthropocentric views they hold with all the alacrity we can muster up whilst the black metal heads Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarr-hounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk. (thats a real word btw)

... i think i stretched my brain a lil too much to continue writing